"I Had Bruises On My Wedding Day" — Domestic Abuse Survivor Breaks Her Silence
She wants to create a safe transitional space for women leaving abusive marriages, a home where newly separated women can be mentored by survivors who've already walked the same path.
Cover image via New Straits TimesWhat began as a fairy tale turned into nearly two decades of torment for a woman who says she endured emotional, physical, and financial abuse throughout her marriage to a man with a 'Datuk' title
Now 41, Priya (not her real name) is speaking out publicly for the first time after divorcing her husband last year, sharing the painful truth behind what she describes as a carefully masked cycle of violence and control, as exclusively reported by the New Straits Times.
"Within 10 days of knowing him, he actually proposed to get married," Priya recalled.
"And the story of my love life felt like a fairy tale."
But the cracks showed early. Even before they were officially married, she says he once left her stranded in the middle of the road after an argument.
"Though he came back in the end… I convinced myself that he still cared," she said.
Then came the bruises. On the day of their wedding.
She remembered having to lie to her make-up artist when questioned about them. Still, Priya left her budding career in biomedical science behind in hopes of building a family.
What she got instead, she said, was a life of fear and silence. She was repeatedly forced to come up with cover stories for bruises and injuries.
"Just to protect his image," she said.
One of the most horrifying incidents happened while she was pregnant
She had been placed on strict bed rest due to complications, but things escalated after she confronted him about multiple fake Facebook accounts he had created, according to the report.
"He lied to me. Then he dragged me down the stairs even though I was carrying our child," Priya said.
"Incidents like that were his way of controlling me, of making sure I wouldn't question him anymore."
Every time she pushed back, he'd gaslight her.
"He would call me crazy and possessive," she said.
"He'd say, 'You're living off my money, that's why you're so free to focus on these things'."
After each violent episode, she said he would "love-bomb" her with grand gestures, apologies, and sweet nothings.
Priya also alleged that the control extended to her finances and legal liabilities. He listed her as a dormant partner in his company and even took out a housing loan under her name.
It wasn't until Priya's child physically stepped in to stop an attack that she finally knew it was time to leave her husband
"The moment he choked me, and my son pushed him away, that was it," she said.
"That's when I realised my kids were also being affected."
Even after the divorce, Priya said the emotional and financial strain continues. Her ex-husband, she claimed, routinely fails to pay the court-ordered monthly alimony and child support.
"Every time it's time for school fees or anything else for the kids, he refuses and pushes the burden to me," she said.
"I'm constantly chasing him to fulfil his legal obligations."
Image via New Straits Times
Despite everything, Priya is turning her pain into purpose
She wants to create a safe transitional space for women leaving abusive marriages, a home where newly separated women can be mentored by survivors who've already walked the same path.
"When they come to this home, they will be surrounded by empowered survivors who can guide and support them. In three to six months, they can rebuild their lives and prepare to face the world again," she said.
Priya is also calling for real reforms in how domestic violence is addressed. Beyond jail time or fines, she believes abusers should be mandated to undergo rehabilitation before being allowed to remarry.
"They should complete a series of modules and earn a certificate, similar to drug or alcohol rehab programmes. Only then should they be allowed to remarry, so we stop the cycle of replacing one victim with another."
If you or anyone you know may be at risk of domestic violence, please call these Malaysian hotlines:
1. WOMEN'S AID ORGANISATION (WAO)
24-hour
Contact: +603-30008858
SMS/WhatsApp: +6018-9888058
Website | Facebook | Twitter
2. ALL WOMEN'S ACTION SOCIETY (AWAM)
Weekdays (9.30am – 4.30pm)
Contact: +603-78770224
WhatsApp: +6016-2284221 | +6016-2374221
Email: telenita@awam.org.my
Website | Facebook | Twitter
3. WOMEN'S CENTRE FOR CHANGE PENANG (WCC PENANG)
Weekdays (9am – 5pm)
Contact: +604-2280342 | +604-3988340
WhatsApp: +6011-31084001 | +6016-4390698
Email: wcc@wccpenang.org
Website | Facebook | Twitter
4. TALIAN KASIH
24-hour
Contact: 15999
WhatsApp: +6019-2615999
Email: taliannur@kpwkm.gov.my
Website | Facebook
5. TELENISA LEGAL AID CLINIC
Weekdays (8am – 10pm)
Contact: +6012-8123424
WhatsApp: +6012-8123424
Email: telenisa.sis@gmail.com
Facebook | Twitter
6. BUDDY BEAR CHILDLINE
Daily (12pm – 12am)
Contact: 1800-18-2327
